Dec 6 2016 What happens when you're a sexually active woman who wants sex all the time??Category: General     08:00AM   0

[INTRODUCTION: As a voracious sex geek, learner and researcher, I often encounter resources to add to my voluminous resource library.  Because I'm only an occasional writer myself yet desire to have a blog, I thought why not do as the Utne Reader (www.utne.com) does and showcase a diverse range of resources about my favorite topics: sexuality, intimacy, gender, identity, relationships, Tantra, BDSM, emotional intelligence, healthy touch, sacred sexuality, sexual health, and more.  So here you go....xo Claire.]

By Gigi Engle

I love sex. Anytime, anywhere, I’m pretty much down for it. Friends and family alike are somewhat flabbergasted by this notion that I could like sex “as much as a man.”

It’s not just my inner circle: being a highly sexual woman is a hot topic everywhere. It’s like the world has come out from underneath a rock, opened its eyes and is like, “Wait. Women like sex?! What a thing!"

What a motherfucking revelation.

As a highly sexual woman, I've rolled my eyes enough to knock the world off of its axis. Being a woman and being sexual are not two independent states of being. Still, here's the reality of being into sex when you're a lady.

Your boyfriend turns you down for sex and it gets weird

In our society, a man asking for sex from a woman is perfectly fine. But women are still, inexplicably, seen not as sex-seeking creatures; we're apparently the gatekeepers for men's key-master status. So when a woman wants a lot of sex and the dynamics shift, it can get weird.

You feel dirty and hurt when your boyfriend turns you down. He just can’t keep up with you and that’s really all right, it just doesn’t feel all right. Sex is a vulnerable position to be in because you’re naked and opening yourself up to someone in a very unique way. Being rejected when you’re in this state of sexual vulnerability really sucks.

Your confidence is affected in a variety of strange ways

Being highly sexual and female has its ups and downs. You feel super sexy and hot because you’re charged up and feel good. Sex can feel empowering. You are a fiery creature, lady.

On the other hand, your sexuality can also be overwhelming and you often think with your vagina instead of your brain. And this can run you into some shitty, slut-shaming situations that can negatively impact your self-esteem. When you seek pleasure as a woman, society greets you with impressed-upon feelings of guilt.

Masturbation time needs to be scheduled into your day

You have constant sexual energy coursing through you like lava when you're a sexed-up lady. It can fuel your creativity and make you extremely vibrant and interesting... but it can also make you cranky if you don’t release it. I masturbate constantly; at least once or twice a day. It just has to happen.

As a highly sexual woman, you’re about two missed phone calls away from needing to drop that shit into your G-Cal as a regular 15-minute event.

Your penchant for sex-talk becomes the thing you’re known for

When you love sex, you also love to talk about sex. Since this sexually squeamish world doesn’t understand women who love to talk about sex, this will confuse people and affect their views of you. It’s hilarious because you can get away with saying pretty much whatever you want. You’re just, “Crazy Gigi, talking about all her vibrators again!”

It’s also fucking annoying. No one seems to understand that these things are actually normal to discuss and your love of sexuality makes you human. No one would care if a man talked about sex the way you do. It only matters because you’re a woman and therefore it’s just some quirky thing about you.

Your apartment gets overrun with sex toys

I truly thought I could never have enough sex toys. I was wrong. When you’re highly sexual, you like sex toys the way other women might like shoes or makeup. You wind up with more sex toys than Pleasure Chest.

It’s all fun and games until your mother-in-law is coming to town and you run out of places to hide your vibrators and buttplugs.

You’re more at home at the Sexual Health Expo than anywhere else

When your main jam is sex, you have to find like-minded people. I’ve been lucky enough to round up quite the amazing crew of sex-pos ladies. It’s a girl-gang of epic proportions, who never slut-shame and only encourage each other.

Some people might love Fashion Week. Some might like a sports game. Others enjoy nature and shit. When you’re highly sexual, you want to go to Cindy Gallop lectures on pornography and the Sexual Health Expo as a part of your extracurricular activities. It just feels like home.

People call you a slut and try to shame you

I am a PROUD slut. When you love sex and aren’t afraid to go out and get it, people will call you a slut and a whore. They will try to make you feel bad about your sexuality and attempt to make you feel like it isn’t “normal” to like sex as much as your male counterparts. What a load of crap.

Bottom line? Women love sex just as much as men do. Sex is healthy as can be. Own that part of you. To say -- or do -- otherwise is a fallacy.

~~~

The original article can be found at https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/what-happens-when-youre-a-sexually-active-woman-who-wants-to-have-sex.


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